playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
