My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
