I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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