have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize