Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
