YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
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Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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