We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
