is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
