covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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