oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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