This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
