brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
