Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
