When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
