Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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