did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Can I color on your dick again?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
