What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
