No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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