I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
