Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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