i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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