I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
