i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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