hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
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If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?