oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo