I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait