im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
