No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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