Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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