do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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