yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
