I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
