TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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