My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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