That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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