just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
