bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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