just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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