We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
