I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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