Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize