do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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