Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
