she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
