just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize