break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
