you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize