what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
