Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
