There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize