is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Is Oprah even human
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
