I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
