thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
