apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
