Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh god it's open bar.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
