So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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