Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize