He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
