Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
