Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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