Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
