if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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